Stages of Grief

In 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed a model for the five stages of grief. I learned about those while attending mortuary school in 1978. I can still remember the acrostic that I used to put them to memory: DABDA
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
While researching on the internet today, I learned another "grief model" had been developed which includes seven stages:
1. Shock & denial
2. Pain & guilt
3. Anger & bargaining
4. Depression, reflection, loneliness
5. The upward turn
6. Reconstruction & working through
7. Acceptance & hope
(There was also a four-stage grief model by Dr. Phil, but I won't include it right now).

Last week at our group meeting, I told them about DABDA, but did not go into any details. This week, we will begin to explore the different stages of grief, and find out where in this process you may find yourself. Even if you have worked through various stages, please come and be a part of our discussion. Your testimony in that particular area may help someone else within the group that may be "stuck".

Ecclesiastes 4: 10--- " If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Come and let us be your friend.

A Time to Grieve

Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4---"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance". That's why it's important to take the time to grieve. "Grief comes into each of our lives, and proper channels for its expression must be found. If we fail to grieve over our personal losses properly, it will be easy to fall into addictions and dependencies to try and hide the pain. If we express our pain constructively, it will be less likely to destroy us" (footnote from The Life Recovery Bible).

Grief comes in many forms. Whether you have lost a loved one through death, lost a spouse as a result of divorce, or lost a job or financial security during this economy, you need to take the time to process your losses. Even when you struggle to give up an addiction, you are losing the comfort and companionship you found with that "coping mechanism". You may even lose friendships that you had during this addiction. When this occurs, stop and take time to give the losses a proper burial. When the time of grieving is over, you can journey on.

Renewal small groups will be focusing on grief and depression during the next several weeks. If you find yourself "stuck in grief" and can't seem to journey on, come and join us in our meetings. We meet weekly on Tuesdays at 6:30 pm in the conference room at Higher Praise Church.

First Meeting

Our first weekly meeting will be Tuesday, May 5 at 6:30 pm in the conference room (that's the door on the side of building between the main and youth sanctuaries). You do not have to sign up---just show up. Anyone who would like to be part of a small group in a safe, confidential environment where you're able to discuss life-controlling issues, this is the place for you. This beginning group will not be "topic specific". That means whether you are struggling with addictions, relationships, grief, etc., we want you to come. I look forward to meeting with you on Tuesday.

Organizational Meeting

There will be an informal meeting Thurs., April 30 at 5:30 pm at Higher Praise (overflow area of sanctuary) to discuss future plans for the small group ministry, "Renewal". Anyone interested in being a participant, or possible volunteer, please attend so I may better understand the needs of the church body. If you are unable to attend this meeting, but would like further information as it becomes available, please email me at miteshop@windstream.net, and I will add you to my list.

These group meetings (not over 12 people) will create a safe environment for individuals to come together to share, encourage and pray for one another concerning the life-controlling issues they (or their loved ones) face on a regular basis. Possible areas of ministry will include (but not limited to): Grief, anger, addictive behaviors (drugs, alcohol, food), spiritual abuse, co-dependent relationships, etc. Let's pray for wisdom in the upcoming days as God leads us in making these plans.

Upcoming . . .

What is "Renewal"? It will be the upcoming restoration ministry at Higher Praise Church. I will give a few more details on Sunday night at church. God is looking to bring restoration to His people and set the captives free!

The Price is Right

John and I rent a couple of booth spaces at Peddler's Mall in Campbellsville. (By the way, if you're ever there, we are Booth #1). Each night, an email is sent out informing you of what you sold for that day. Last night before checking my email, I asked John if he wanted to guess how much we had sold. He said he didn't know. I guessed we had sold $31.50. Some days we sell more; a lot of days we will sell less. So, when I checked my email, we had sold $31.41. Wow, is that a coincidence or what? Or was it? Could it have been a small voice letting me know what figure to guess? Could it have been the Holy Spirit just reminding me that He's concerned about all areas of my life, even a small game like "guessing". I pray as I continue my journey with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I stay reminded of just how important it is to listen, and just how much God really cares!

What's Next?

Last night at church, Brad and his wife Sandy, and I shared our story about the kidney donation offer. It was good to be able to share it with church family so they may pray and support Brad and his family during this time. I know God has a plan in store. We will continue to trust and believe. I hope it inspired individuals to look beyond themselves to others needs, and sometimes go "up and beyond" the call of duty. I know I don't regret following God's lead to offer. Now, I just have to wonder, "God, what do you have next in mind for me to do?"